Saturday, August 27, 2011

The Tilt Monster Rears Its Ugly Head

I hit my stop loss pretty quickly today at one of the softest 1/3 tables I have seen in quite a while. It's $600 and I picked up at -$575. I'm not sure why some days I am far more prone to tilt and spew than other days. It really doesn't make any sense, nothing happened at all the previous day to put me in an unbalanced state. Yet there I was taking one bad beat and then getting extremely frustrated at the glacial pace of action that is live poker while some donkeys make hand after hand. Most non-pros don't realize but it is really fucking hard to make a hand in NLHE. I have gone a day without making better than top pair while some fish retard hits 6 sets in 2 hours.

I don't even want to go back in the Rivers poker room because I am incredibly ashamed at how I played. Not at how I acted, I am always polite, courteous and respectful to customers, just at how I played. I couldn't make one damn fucking pair today as I get called down by A high by some fish in sunglasses who limps 85% of hands. Now I just want to get out of Pittsburgh, I guess, although there are a bunch of cultural things I want to do.

The Borgata open is next month and I might go for 10 days and grind what should be the soft games. Would probably be a good break but I'd say there is only a 50% chance it happens.

Well today's session knocks my profits for the month back to 4.5k, le sigh. Definitely going to take a few days off and do some of those other things I mentioned before getting back on the horse on either Tuesday or Wednesday. Definitely going to play in the 5k freeroll I qualified for on Thursday.

It's incredibly depressing to know that you are down a not insignificant amount of money due solely to your own actions. It is an extremely harsh and sobering reality which I don't think can really be explained, you need to feel it for yourself. At least writing this is cathartic.

Ah well, time to cope the best way I know how, consumption of copious amounts of alcohol.

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